Some spouses still want a physical relationship with their loved one with dementia. Just as many want nothing to do with it. Both are normal, and so are five other things caregivers whisper to me.
She'd tried everything to get her husband to stop driving. Then, talking it through with me after one of my talks, she remembered the firefighter who wanted his truck. Isolation had kept that answer buried.
"They think I'm exaggerating." When everyone says your loved one with dementia seems fine, that's usually the thought doing the hurting. I had it about my own siblings, until I chose a different one.
When your loved one with dementia is upset with you, it is easy to decide you are failing them. You are not. Trying to keep them happy all the time costs their safety, costs you your capacity, and costs you the most human moments you could share. Here is what I would aim for instead.
If dementia caregiving feels harder than anyone warned you, it is not because you are failing. Three things about dementia care are built backwards: the care plan leaves you out, help only shows up after a crisis, and even the best behavior advice ignores the grief underneath. Here is what I want you to know.
Many caregivers expect relief when a loved one moves into memory care or a care facility, then feel exhausted after even a good visit. Dr. Natali Edmonds explains the nervous system, grief, and recovery science behind post-placement exhaustion, and what actually helps once you understand what your body has been carrying all along.
If you've caught yourself thinking "I don't even recognize who I am anymore," you're not broken and you haven't disappeared. Dr. Natali explains the psychology of caregiver "engulfment," what chronic stress does to your brain, and four research-backed ways to start reconnecting with who you were before caregiving.
After 17 years working with dementia caregivers, I keep coming back to the same five truths: the hurt never fully goes away, you can't control what others think, your loved one still feels pain, your self-talk matters, and no one has all the answers. Here's what I wish every caregiver knew.
If you have been sitting on a difficult caregiving decision for weeks, months, or longer and cannot seem to move forward, you are not alone. Dr. Natali identifies the five thought patterns most likely keeping you stuck and what you can actually do to get unstuck.
When family members say your loved one seems fine, it can make dementia caregiving feel even more lonely. Here’s why this happens and what you can do when others don’t believe what you are seeing.
What truly predicts a longer, healthier life? One of the longest studies ever conducted found it was not wealth, success, or intelligence, but the quality of our relationships. This article explains what that research means for dementia caregivers and how emotional connection continues to matter, even as memory and cognition change.
My dad told the provider he understood his discharge plan. The moment she left, he asked me, "What in the world was that lady talking about?" SNF, rehab, assisted living. Nobody had explained them.
