The Dementia Careblazers Blog

Practical articles for the real-life challenges of dementia caregiving.

When Everyone Says Your Loved One With Dementia Seems Fine

"They think I'm exaggerating." When everyone says your loved one with dementia seems fine, that's usually the thought doing the hurting. I had it about my own siblings, until I chose a different one.

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More recent articles

3 Things in Dementia That Look Like Lying (But Aren’t)

"The neighbor brought me flowers yesterday." Except nobody came, and there are no flowers. When someone with dementia tells you something you know isn't true, it's easy to assume they're lying. Here's the difference between anosognosia, confabulation, and delusions, and why correcting them so rarely works.

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When Your Loved One With Dementia Keeps Asking: Put the Answer Where They Can Find It

If you care for someone with dementia, you probably answer some version of these questions over and over: “What are we doing today?” “Who’s coming over?” “When will you be back?” “What are we having for dinner?” “What time is my appointment?” You answer. A few minutes later, they ask again. So you remind them […]

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5 MORE Strange Dementia Behaviors and Why They Happen

The doctor asks how they're doing, and your loved one smiles and says, "Oh, I'm wonderful." Meanwhile, you're the one who sees everything else. Here are five more dementia behaviors that look strange from the outside, what the brain may be doing behind each one, and what actually helps.

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4 Phrases That Make Dementia Behaviors Worse (And What I Say Instead)

Four sentences slip out of almost every caregiver's mouth, and all four ask a brain to do something it can no longer do. Here's what's happening underneath each one, the words I'd say in their place, and why there is no single right answer for your loved one.

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6 Normal  Habits That Can Make Dementia Behaviors Worse

Hey Mom, do you remember who this is? It sounds harmless. It is really a test your loved one is set up to fail. That is one of six habits I see loving Careblazers fall into every day, and here is what I would say in place of each one.

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5 Strange Dementia Behaviors That Actually Make Perfect Sense

Your loved one insists they already ate breakfast. They swear they spoke to a sister who died ten years ago. It is not lying, because lying requires knowing the truth. Here are five dementia behaviors that look like character flaws, and the specific thing happening in the brain behind each one.

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Why Your Loved One With Dementia Might Be Aware They’re Struggling (Even If They Don’t Know Why)

If your loved one with dementia has been pulling back from things they used to do, it's not always apathy. Sometimes they know they're struggling, and that awareness is what makes them stop. Here's how to tell the difference, and how to help them stay engaged without pushing them past what they can do.

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Why Your Loved One With Dementia Acts Worse The Moment Your Attention Shifts

If your loved one with dementia is calm until the second you pick up the phone or leave the room, you are not imagining it. This is not jealousy, manipulation, or their personality. It is separation anxiety, and it comes from a real change in the brain. Let me walk you through what is happening and what actually helps.

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Where to Get Help After a Dementia Diagnosis (4 Places to Start)

Your loved one was just diagnosed with dementia. Here are 4 places to get help in the first 90 days, plus the one thing you should not wait on.

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Why You Should Not Try to Make Your Loved One With Dementia Happy All the Time

When your loved one with dementia is upset with you, it is easy to decide you are failing them. You are not. Trying to keep them happy all the time costs their safety, costs you your capacity, and costs you the most human moments you could share. Here is what I would aim for instead.

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Why Dementia Caregiving Is So Hard (3 Ways the System Is Built Backwards)

If dementia caregiving feels harder than anyone warned you, it is not because you are failing. Three things about dementia care are built backwards: the care plan leaves you out, help only shows up after a crisis, and even the best behavior advice ignores the grief underneath. Here is what I want you to know.

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