Have You Ever Watched a Loved One Pretend to Take Their Medication?
Careblazer, let’s talk about a moment that so many caregivers face but rarely talk about, when your loved one pretends to take their medication. Maybe they put the pill in their mouth, smile, and nod like everything’s fine… but then later, you find that pill in the trash, under a napkin, or spit out in the sink.
It’s frustrating, right? You’re trying to keep them safe, follow the doctor’s plan, and manage behaviors, and now you’re wondering, “how long have they been doing this? Why won’t they just swallow the pill?”
If you’ve been in this spot, I want to share a story…and a solution that came from one of our amazing Careblazers during a live support call. This idea isn’t about hiding meds in applesauce, switching to a patch, or crushing pills into yogurt. Nope. This strategy is about connection, dignity, and one small shift that made a huge difference.
Why People With Dementia Might Refuse Medication
Before we dive into the strategy, let’s look at why this happens in the first place.
As dementia progresses, the brain starts to process information differently. Tasks that once felt automatic, like taking a pill, can suddenly feel confusing or even scary. Your loved one might forget why the medication is important. They might be afraid it will hurt them. Or they simply don’t trust what’s happening in that moment.
And sometimes, they’re not “refusing” at all. They’re just holding it in their cheek because they forgot what to do next. But if someone shines a spotlight on it—“Did you take it? Open your mouth!”—they may feel embarrassed or defensive.
We often try to fix the situation with logic. But logic rarely works in dementia care. That’s why I always say: Emotion over logic when talking to your loved one. Logic over emotion when managing yourself.
A Real-Life Example: When “Taking the Pill” Was Just for Show
During one of our recent Care Collective live Q&A calls (we do these weekly inside the program), a caregiver shared something so many others related to.
Her loved one, who lives in a care facility, had been pretending to take her medication. She’d put the pill in her mouth while the staff watched. Then, when they turned their back, she’d spit it out.
Sound familiar?
Another caregiver chimed in, same situation. She hadn’t realized what was happening until her mom’s blood pressure skyrocketed. Turns out, Mom had stopped actually taking her pills. She was hiding them in her cheek and spitting them out later.
This kind of behavior can go unnoticed for a long time and it can lead to serious health risks.
The Go-To Solutions Most People Try (That May Not Work)
Of course, we all want to solve this problem fast. So here’s what often comes up as possible solutions:
Mixing pills in food – like applesauce or yogurt. Sometimes this works. But if the person senses something’s “off,” it can backfire and ruin their trust or appetite.
Switching to liquids – which can help, but only if the medication comes in a liquid form and your loved one likes the taste.
Using a patch – great if the medication is available that way and their skin tolerates it.
These are all great tools to talk about with your doctor or pharmacist. But none of these solve the core problem if the person simply doesn’t want to take medication or feels they’re being forced.
So what’s a caregiver to do?
The Creative, Compassionate Approach That Actually Worked
Here’s where it gets good. One Careblazer shared a creative idea that I just loved…and more importantly, it worked.
Instead of trying to force her mom to take the pill or check her mouth afterward, she did something totally different:
She asked the staff to stop making a big deal about the medicine. No “Here’s your pill, now swallow!” No “Let me see your mouth.”
Instead, she had them hand the pill like normal and then immediately start a light conversation.
Ask about her day. Comment on the weather. Talk about the grandkids. Share something funny about their own family.
Just a casual, pleasant, human interaction.
And guess what happened?
Her mom swallowed the pill. Naturally. Without being asked. Without being reminded. Without anyone checking or policing her.
Sometimes the medication would dissolve in her mouth and leave a taste, prompting her to take a sip of water (which had been conveniently placed nearby). And then, like magic, the pill was gone. Problem solved.
Why This Works (And Why It’s So Beautiful)
Sometimes in caregiving, we think we need to tackle the issue head-on. We see a problem and want to fix it. That makes sense. We care deeply, and we want to protect our loved ones.
But what if the best solution is actually a more roundabout, creative, gentle approach?
What if we could solve the issue without drawing attention to it and without stripping our loved one of their autonomy?
That’s exactly what this caregiver did. And the results speak for themselves.
By shifting the focus to a light conversation, we give the brain a chance to relax. There’s no pressure. No conflict. Just connection.
How You Can Try This With Your Loved One
Want to try this strategy yourself? Here’s a simple step-by-step guide:
Step 1: Prepare Their Favorite Drink
Whether it’s tea, juice, or plain water. Have it ready nearby. Something familiar and comforting.
Step 2: Offer the Medication Casually
Hand them the pill without explaining too much or putting pressure on the moment.
Step 3: Immediately Start a Conversation
Ask about something they love or remember fondly. Share a story. Make a gentle comment.
Step 4: Let It Flow Naturally
Avoid looking at their mouth or checking to see if they swallowed. Just keep the mood light and pleasant.
Step 5: Watch for Subtle Success
You may notice them swallow on their own or take a sip of their drink. The job is done and you didn’t have to fight or force anything.
Use This Strategy Beyond Medication
Here’s what I love most: This trick isn’t just for pills. You can use this kind of distraction-through-connection in so many other situations.
Getting your loved one dressed
Transitioning to bath time
Redirecting from repetitive questions
Calming them when they’re agitated
Instead of tackling the behavior head-on, try stepping to the side—connecting first, then gently guiding the behavior.
It can preserve their dignity, reduce your stress, and lead to better outcomes all around.
Ready for Real Support from People Who Get It?
The strategy you just read? It came straight from a Care Collective member. That’s the power of this community. Caregivers helping caregivers in real time, with ideas that actually work.
If you’re reading this in July 2025, now’s your chance to join us!
Enrollment is open, but only for a limited time.
Inside the Care Collective, you’ll get:
Weekly live Q&As to get your questions answered fast
Step-by-step guidance from me and other dementia experts
Private support groups where real caregivers share real solutions
A judgment-free zone where you can breathe, learn, and feel seen
Whether you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just need someone who understands…this is the place. We’re ready to welcome you in.
🎯 Click here to learn more and sign up.
I can’t wait to see your face inside!
Final Thoughts: What If It’s Not About Forcing… But Connecting?
If your loved one is refusing medication—or any other kind of help—what if the best solution isn’t found in logic, force, or pressure?
What if it’s as simple as a short, sweet, human conversation?
That’s the power of creative caregiving. That’s the beauty of seeing your loved one not just as a patient, but as a person.
Try it out. Share your wins. And keep those creative ideas coming, Careblazer. You’re doing an amazing job.
💬 COMMENT BELOW:
Have you ever found a gentle, unexpected way to help your loved one without directly asking them to do something they didn’t want to do? I’d love to hear your story, and your creativity could help so many other caregivers.
Want to watch the in-depth video that inspired this post?
Click the video below to watch. ↓
