Key Insights from the Your Brain On… Caregiving Podcast

Your brain on... caregiving podcast insights
Are you a caregiver looking for ways to better support your loved one with dementia while taking care of yourself? In this post, Dr. Natali Edmonds, shares insights from her appearance on the Your Brain On Caregiving podcast with Drs. Ayesha and Dean Sherzai. Discover key strategies for dementia caregivers, including the importance of empathy, self-care, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and building a supportive community.

Table of Contents

Have you ever heard of Your Brain On? It’s an amazing podcast hosted by Drs. Ayesha and Dean Sherzai, a neurologist husband-and-wife duo who are all about helping people reduce their dementia risk and live healthier lives. They’ve even written two incredible books: The Alzheimer’s Solution and The 30 Day Alzheimer’s Solution.

I personally own both of their books and listen to their podcast regularly. I’ve admired their work for years, which is why it was a total dream come true to be a guest on their podcast! We dove into one of my favorite topics—managing caregiver stress. If you’re a caregiver or know someone who is, you know how real the challenges can be, and we had a powerful conversation about practical ways to navigate that stress. I’m sharing some insights from the podcast below.

The Complex Role of Caregiving in Today’s Aging Society

Modern medicine has extended the average human lifespan, giving us more time to spend with loved ones, pursue our dreams, and reflect on the wonder of life itself. While this may seem like a gift, the reality is more complex. The longer lifespans have introduced significant socioeconomic challenges, particularly for caregivers who are responsible for looking after an aging population. The burden of caregiving is immense, and it’s a role many are unprepared for.
In fact, about a third of the U.S. population — nearly 70 million people — are caring for family members who are disabled, chronically ill, or experiencing cognitive decline from neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s. This free labor provided by family caregivers is valued at almost twice what is invested in the professional caregiving industry. Yet, these caregivers often receive little support from healthcare infrastructures, and the lack of resources can result in a cycle of emotional and physical strain.
One of the most concerning trends is the high risk of cognitive decline among dementia caregivers themselves. The emotional and physical toll of caregiving is so great that many caregivers face a higher chance of developing the same cognitive impairments they are working so hard to manage in their loved ones. The combination of stress, exhaustion, and lack of self-care can accelerate this decline, highlighting the urgent need for more comprehensive caregiver support.

While systemic change at the policy level is necessary to address this issue, there are immediate steps individuals can take today to improve their caregiving journey. In the podcast Your Brain On Caregiving, Drs. Ayesha and Dean Sherzai invited two expert guests — Dr. Natali Edmonds, a geropsychologist and founder of Dementia Careblazers, and Dr. Helen Lavretsky, a geriatric integrative psychiatrist — to explore strategies for caregiving that focus on empathy, understanding, and emotional connection.

The Importance of Empathy in Dementia Care

At the core of caregiving for dementia patients is empathy. Dr. Natali Edmonds has dedicated her career to helping caregivers not only manage the day-to-day challenges but also cultivate a deeper understanding of what their loved ones are going through. Dementia patients often experience confusion, fear, and frustration. They may not understand what is happening around them, which can lead to behaviors that seem difficult or irrational.
For caregivers, it can feel overwhelming when their loved one accuses them of theft, follows them everywhere, or refuses to sleep. But as Dr. Natali explains, these behaviors are not intentional. They are the result of a brain that is no longer functioning as it once did. Caregivers must recognize that their loved one’s actions stem from fear and confusion, not a desire to make life difficult.
By imagining what it might be like to lose control over your own thoughts and memories, caregivers can approach their loved ones with more compassion. Dr. Natali often shares an analogy to help caregivers build this empathy: “Imagine someone you didn’t like coming up to you and trying to undress or bathe you. Would you accept it? Probably not.” This helps caregivers understand why their loved one may resist help with personal care.

Rebuilding the Caregiver-Patient Relationship

Empathy not only makes caregiving more manageable, but it also strengthens the relationship between caregiver and patient. Dr. Natali stresses the importance of positive interactions, even when caregiving feels overwhelming.
Making time for positive interactions, whether through conversation, a shared activity, or even a simple touch, can significantly improve the quality of care. When caregivers and their loved ones share positive moments, it strengthens the emotional bond, making it easier to navigate the more challenging aspects of caregiving, such as hands-on tasks like bathing or toileting.
Dr. Dean Sherzai shares his personal experience of caring for his grandmother, recalling how caregiving became more about tasks than emotions. This is a common experience among caregivers, but as Dr. Dean emphasizes, even patients who have lost the ability to speak still feel emotions and can connect on a deep level. These emotional connections are incredibly powerful and can be as meaningful as an entire day of caregiving.

The Crucial Role of Self-Care in Dementia Caregiving

Caregivers are the backbone of dementia care, and while their empathy toward their loved ones is crucial, they must also extend that empathy to themselves. It’s easy for caregivers to become so focused on providing care that they neglect their own well-being. However, self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Caring for someone with dementia is one of the most physically, emotionally, and psychologically demanding roles anyone can take on.
Dr. Helen Lavretsky highlights that caregivers often face immense challenges. The balancing act of caregiving, especially for those in the “sandwich generation” caring for both children and elderly parents, leaves many feeling overwhelmed and questioning, “Where do I get to live my life?” This sense of being stretched too thin can breed resentment, as caregiving consumes time and energy that would otherwise be spent on personal pursuits.

The numbers are staggering: 50% of caregivers develop depression, particularly those juggling multiple caregiving roles. For caregivers of dementia patients, the risks extend beyond emotional strain. Research shows that caregivers face a higher risk of physical decline, cognitive decline, and even early mortality. It’s not uncommon to see cases where the caregiver dies before the person they are caring for. In fact, elderly daughters caring for their mothers with dementia are especially vulnerable, often passing away before their mothers due to the overwhelming stress of caregiving.

Dr. Lavretsky stresses the devastating effects of chronic stress on caregivers, calling it more toxic than almost any other factor in life. Caregivers are in a constant state of overdrive. Their cortisol levels are perpetually high, their sympathetic nervous system is in a state of emergency, and their immune system is on the brink. These physiological effects push the body into a destructive “damage control” mode, where systems break down rather than repair and regenerate. This explains why caregivers have higher rates of chronic diseases, more rapid physical decline, and, ultimately, shorter lifespans.

The Alarming Mortality Rate Among Caregivers

Dr. Levretsky also shares a disturbing statistic: caregivers die 60% faster than non-caregivers in an age-matched population. This staggering figure underscores the critical need for policy changes, research, and resources that address the health risks faced by caregivers. While caregiving has long been an undervalued and underfunded area of research, Dr. Lavretsky notes that there has been a recent increase in funding for studies focused on caregiver stress reduction.

The Health Consequences of Caregiving

The stress of caregiving isn’t just emotional or financial — it has a direct impact on the caregiver’s health. According to the CDC, over half of surveyed caregivers reported that their own declining health impaired their ability to care for their loved ones. This decline in health, both physical and emotional, creates a vicious cycle. As caregivers become more depressed, they are less able to manage the challenges of caregiving effectively, particularly if their loved one with dementia displays difficult behaviors.

A robust study found that 53% of caregivers said their health had worsened due to their caregiving role. The domino effect is clear: as a caregiver’s health declines, so too does their ability to provide high-quality care, further exacerbating the stress they already face. Dr. Edmonds emphasizes that caregivers need to shift their focus to themselves, recognizing that their own well-being is tied to the quality of care they provide to their loved ones.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A Path to Better Caregiving

Dr. Edmonds encourages caregivers to adopt cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to help manage the emotional strain of caregiving. CBT is a powerful tool for shifting the mindset of caregivers, helping them break free from the belief that nothing will improve until the caregiving journey is over. By rethinking the way they approach challenges, caregivers can lower their stress, improve their health, and find moments of joy in an otherwise difficult situation.

CBT helps caregivers recognize that every thought they have — about their loved one, their family, and the healthcare system — influences how they approach caregiving. By focusing on reframing negative thoughts, caregivers can reduce the stress and emotional toll of their responsibilities. Improving the caregiver’s well-being directly translates into better outcomes for the person with dementia. Great dementia care, she says, cannot ignore the caregiver. By addressing the caregiver’s needs, both physically and emotionally, we can improve the quality of life for the person with dementia as well.

Embracing the Emotional Complexity of Caregiving

Caregiving is a deeply emotional experience, and it’s unrealistic to expect caregivers to avoid emotional pain altogether. After all, caring for someone you love who is slowly declining is bound to be a painful process. Dr. Edmonds emphasizes the importance of allowing caregivers to experience their emotions — both good and bad — without feeling like something has gone terribly wrong. Emotional pain is a natural part of the human experience, particularly in the context of dementia caregiving.

Rather than focusing solely on how to “feel better,” Dr. Edmonds encourages caregivers to learn how to “feel bad” in a way that doesn’t worsen the situation. Becoming more comfortable with uncomfortable emotions allows caregivers to process their feelings and move forward. It’s essential to understand that caregiving, like life itself, is a balance of good and bad experiences. The emotional pain of caregiving doesn’t mean the situation is hopeless; it’s a reflection of the profound love and connection between caregiver and patient.

The Guilt of Self-Care: Reframing It as “Life Care”

One of the biggest barriers to self-care for caregivers is guilt. Many caregivers feel guilty for taking time away from their responsibilities to focus on themselves. Dr. Edmonds reframes self-care as “life care,” emphasizing that caring for oneself isn’t just about the individual — it’s about maintaining the ability to care for others. When caregivers prioritize their health, they become better equipped to provide care for their loved ones and support their families.

Self-care doesn’t need to be a massive commitment. It can be something as simple as starting with chair yoga or a short walk. There are countless resources, from YouTube videos to community programs, that can help caregivers incorporate physical activity into their lives. Even caregivers who are looking after loved ones with physical limitations can find ways to be more active, whether that means pushing a loved one in a wheelchair on a walk or finding a neighbor to help for an hour so they can exercise. Exercise is particularly important for dementia caregivers, many of whom fear developing dementia themselves. Physical activity is one of the best ways to lower the risk of cognitive decline.

The Health Effects of Caregiver Stress: The Role of Inflammation and Sleep

Caregiving doesn’t just take an emotional toll — it can have severe physical consequences as well. Chronic stress, which is all too common for caregivers, affects everything from the autonomic nervous system to the hormonal and neuroendocrine systems. Dr. Helen Lavretsky explains that chronic stress leads to inflammation, which is the root cause of many disorders associated with aging, including Alzheimer’s disease, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

For caregivers, the impact of this stress is twofold: not only does it accelerate aging, but it also increases the risk of developing chronic diseases. Dr. Lavretsky highlights that many caregivers simply cannot afford to take the time off or hire help, which only compounds the physical toll. However, caregivers need to recognize that if they don’t protect their health, they won’t be able to care for their loved ones in the long run.
A growing body of research is focusing on how to mitigate the harmful effects of caregiver stress. One of the most effective interventions is improving sleep quality. As Dr. Lavretsky explains, getting seven to nine hours of uninterrupted sleep each night can reduce the risk of many health issues by 50%. However, many caregivers struggle with sleep due to competing tasks and overwhelming stress.

Improving Sleep Hygiene for Caregivers

Dr. Lavretsky offers practical advice for improving sleep hygiene, or the practices and habits that prepare the body for restful sleep. Creating a sleep ritual — free of electronics, heavy exercise, and stimulating activities — signals to the body that it’s time to unwind. A warm bath, breathing exercises, meditation, or listening to calming music can all help caregivers transition into a restful state.
In one of her studies, Dr. Lavretsky found that an 11-minute meditation practice significantly reduced stress and improved cognitive function for caregivers. This brief meditation also enhanced telomerase activity, an enzyme that plays a role in cellular health and longevity. The results were striking: even a short daily meditation had profound effects on caregivers’ mental and physical health, offering a simple yet powerful tool for stress management.

Effective Communication: Bridging the Gap Between Caregivers and Family

A significant challenge for caregivers is the strain in relationships with other family members. Often, family members who are not directly involved in caregiving don’t fully understand the scope of the disease. Dementia, after all, doesn’t always look like what people expect. Memory loss is not always the first sign, and individuals with dementia can have moments of clarity even in the moderate stages. As a result, other family members may think the primary caregiver is exaggerating the severity of the condition.
Caregivers should share a complete picture of what’s going on, including both the good moments and the hard ones. By educating the family about dementia and its unpredictable nature, caregivers can help bridge the gap between themselves and other family members who may feel disconnected from the caregiving process. Compassion needs to extend not only to the person with dementia but also to the caregiver and the rest of the family. The more understanding and support that exists, the better the caregiving experience will be for everyone involved.

Building a Community of Support

One of the most common challenges caregivers face is a profound sense of isolation. More than 70% of caregivers report feeling alone in their caregiving journey. However, as Dr. Edmonds explains, community is a crucial element of caregiving, offering both emotional and practical support. She shares that some members of her Careblazers community continue to participate even after their loved one has passed because of the strong connections they’ve built with other caregivers.

Community support can take many forms, from formal in-person support groups to virtual communities and even casual relationships with neighbors or friends. Caregivers need to make the first step — reaching out for help, staying in touch with loved ones, or joining a support group. Even in the midst of caregiving chaos, maintaining relationships is essential. It’s okay to let people know that life is unpredictable but that their relationship still matters. A funny meme, a quick text, or a short phone call can go a long way in maintaining connections and combating isolation.

The Power of Community-Driven Care

Dr. Dean Sherzai and Dr. Ayesha Sherzai highlight the immense power of community-driven care. In their work, they’ve seen how communities can come together to support caregivers and patients alike. Involving the wider community — whether it’s a faith group, a neighborhood, or a school system — creates a network of support that helps both the caregiver and the person with dementia.
Research from countries like Denmark and Japan supports this, showing that the number one factor determining the quality of life for caregivers and aging individuals is how connected they are to their community. A community’s collective knowledge about dementia and caregiving helps create an environment where support is readily available, planning is proactive, and resources are shared. Dr. Dean Sherzai emphasizes that when we talk to communities about caregiving, we should approach it as though they are supporting each other. When caregivers feel supported by their community, the burden of caregiving becomes more manageable.

Self-Compassion: Forgiving Yourself for Imperfections

Caregiving is a demanding role, and it’s inevitable that caregivers will make mistakes along the way. As Dr. Ayesha Sherzai emphasizes, it’s crucial for caregivers to have self-compassion. There will be moments when your patience wears thin or when you’re not the best version of yourself — and that’s okay. Mistakes are part of the process, and the key is to forgive yourself and learn from them.
Dr. Dean Sherzai echoes this sentiment by reminding caregivers to take a step back and assess their responses. By practicing self-awareness, caregivers can better understand their emotions and reactions, which is essential for long-term emotional well-being. And, as Dr. Edmonds often advises, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a way to ensure you’re still standing strong for your loved one.

Applying the NEURO Approach to Caregiving

The Sherzais have developed the NEURO method, an approach to brain health that stands for Nutrition, Exercise, Unwind, Restore, and Optimize. Caregivers can apply this framework to both themselves and their loved ones. Taking time to focus on these core aspects of health can have a profound impact on the caregiving journey.

For example, “Unwind” involves taking just five minutes of deep breathing or meditation to center yourself. As research has shown, even brief moments of mindfulness can significantly reduce stress. Sleep is another crucial component. Caregivers who neglect their sleep risk accumulating damage to their physical and mental health. Setting a goal for seven to eight hours of restful sleep each night can make a world of difference.
The Sherzais also encourage caregivers to “gamify” their lives by incorporating activities that challenge the brain, foster growth, and promote fun. Whether it’s playing puzzles or engaging in stimulating conversations, these activities can help caregivers maintain their cognitive health and create an environment of love and connection.

The Road Ahead: Facing Challenges with Empathy and Support

As we look toward the future of caregiving, it’s clear that the road is paved with both challenges and opportunities. The ongoing research into dementia and chronic diseases, coupled with technological innovations and calls for policy reform, offer hope for a better caregiving experience. However, while we wait for these changes to take shape, caregivers need support today.
As the Sherzais concluded in their episode of Your Brain on Caregiving, caregivers should never underestimate the power of asking for help and forgiving themselves for their imperfections. Caregiving is not about perfection; it’s about doing your best, finding moments of joy, and building a network of support that allows both the caregiver and their loved one to thrive.

Additional Resources for Caregivers

For caregivers looking to deepen their understanding, the Sherzais have highlighted several of their podcast episodes that provide valuable insights into brain health and caregiving.

Dementia Careblazers YouTube channel offers weekly videos addressing a wide range of challenges and questions caregivers face. For those looking for more in-depth support, The Care Collective program includes access to dementia experts, elder law attorneys, and other professionals who can answer specific questions and provide insights on the broader challenges of caregiving. While it’s not a replacement for healthcare, it offers a unique sense of community where caregivers can find the support they need beyond generalized information.

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