My own father was scammed by someone pretending to be me.
He thought I was messaging him on Facebook, telling him to buy these expensive vitamins. I was never doing that. Our local news even covered the story.
Careblazer, if you’ve ever worried that your loved one with dementia might fall for a scam, you have good reason. Maybe it’s a phone call, a Facebook message, or junk mail that looks really official. Scammers target older adults every single day, and when dementia is in the picture, the risk goes way up.
So here are simple, creative steps you can use right now to protect your loved one with dementia from scams, while still keeping their dignity and independence intact.
Why People with Dementia Are at Higher Risk
Scammers are clever. They pretend to be bank representatives, charities, even long-lost relatives. They might even pretend to be you.
And they’re so good that it’s not just people with dementia getting scammed. It’s us. I’ve worked with many Careblazers who fell for a scam themselves. With all the phone calls we’re juggling and the exhaustion we’re going through, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s not.
People with dementia are at higher risk because they lose their ability to judge what’s safe and what’s suspicious. They may forget who they’ve already talked to. They may forget all the safety measures you’ve talked to them about. They might not recognize the red flags that you and I can spot more easily.
That means the usual advice, like “don’t answer unknown calls” or “never click suspicious links,” is not enough for someone with dementia. We have to create safeguards, systems and gentle routines that help them as much as possible.
I explain why money changes, including falling for scams, can be an early sign of dementia in the surprising early warning sign of dementia that shows up before memory loss.
Here are four safeguards.
Tip 1: Program the Phone to Block Unknown Numbers
Super simple. Program their phone so it only accepts calls from trusted contacts.
That way, if a scammer or an unknown number calls, the phone simply doesn’t ring. It’s a set it and forget it solution that gives you peace of mind.
If you’re not sure how to do this on your loved one’s phone, Apple or Android, do a Google search on how to program a phone so only trusted numbers get through.
Tip 2: Reduce Junk Mail and Scam Letters
Mail scams are another huge problem. Pre-approved credit cards, fake charity requests, sweepstakes entries. If your loved one has dementia, they might respond before you even know it.
You have a couple of options here.
Option 1: Open a P.O. Box
Instead of having mail delivered to your loved one’s home, have it sent to a P.O. box. You pick it up, sort through it, and give them only the important mail.
You can even put the safe mail in the mailbox in front of their house, so they still get the pleasure of checking the mail if that’s something they like to do. Junk mail and scam mail never reach them.
Option 2: Use a Mail Management Service
These companies can scan envelopes and forward only the mail you need or want. Some will even open your mail for you.
You do need to do your research to make sure it’s a trusted, legitimate company. A Careblazer in one of our support rooms recently signed up for one of these services. It goes through her mail and sends her only what she says she wants. She was really hesitant at first and did a lot of research. She’s been loving it, and there haven’t been any issues. So that’s another option if you’re comfortable with it.
The goal is not to cut your loved one off from getting mail. The goal is to reduce the flow of junk and scam letters they might respond to.
Tip 3: Make the Internet a Safer Place
If your loved one uses the internet, install pop-up blockers. Set up strong passwords. Turn on parental controls, even for adults. A lot of the child safety settings that are out there work really well for older adults too.
Think of it as dementia-proofing the internet for your loved one. You’re not limiting them. You’re protecting them.
One of the biggest places I’ve seen scams is Facebook. Right now there’s an account calling itself Dementia Careblazers that is a scam. It’s of me. People steal what I post and make their own account with it.
You and I know to look at the URL to make sure a page is legit. Someone with dementia might not remember that, even if you tell them. That’s how my dad fell for it.
So specifically for Facebook, here’s what you can do.
Control Friend Requests
You might be the gatekeeper for accepting friend requests. You can turn on a setting so only friends of friends can send requests, which means strangers can’t. Or better yet, turn off friend requests altogether and add people manually. That cuts down the chance of fake profiles slipping in.
Set Up a Favorites-Only Feed
Help set up their feed so they only see posts from a handful of safe, trusted family and friends you’ve approved. Scam ads, fake giveaways and suspicious links are far less likely to cross their screen.
Filter Out Scam Keywords
Facebook lets you filter out words in comments and posts. Load it up with words like prize, sweepstakes, cure, lottery, click here, and those posts simply won’t appear in their feed.
I hate to say this, but you might also want to search for how to keep kids safe online. That’s where a lot of the information is, and some of those tips may apply to your loved one with dementia, even though they are not a child.
Tip 4: Money Monitoring
A very simple, very smart thing to do is set up alerts on any bank accounts, credit cards or debit cards they have access to.
- Many banks will send you a text or an email any time there’s a charge over a certain amount. You’ll know right away if someone is making suspicious purchases, and you can respond much sooner.
- You can set it up so an alert goes to your phone any time there’s a charge on a credit card.
- Consider using a prepaid debit card for small online purchases, instead of giving them access to a main credit card with a higher spending limit.
And if you aren’t already, become a joint account holder or a financial power of attorney, so you can monitor transactions regularly and have more control over the financial situation. If you’re starting from scratch, I cover the basics in power of attorney and dementia.
Not Every Scam Is Outright Theft
Sometimes scams are more subtle. It’s not someone outright stealing your money. It’s companies who want your business but don’t have your best interest in mind.
Medicare is a good example. The Department of Justice has sued three of the largest Medicare brokerages in the country, alleging they presented themselves as unbiased help while steering seniors toward the plans that paid them the most in kickbacks, not the plans that were best for them.
You think you’re getting help choosing the right plan. Meanwhile, the people you’re trusting are steering you toward the plans that pay them. That’s not okay.
That’s why, when it comes to Medicare, I wholeheartedly recommend Chapter. Chapter was founded because the founders’ own parents were scammed, and they wanted to do whatever they could to keep that from happening to others. They look across every Medicare plan nationwide to help you find the best one for your needs. They don’t steer you in any direction. Their employees are salaried, so they aren’t paid to push the plans with the biggest kickbacks. It’s no-pressure, ethical help at no cost to you, and you talk to a real person.
If you’re shopping for a Medicare plan, or want to make sure the one you have is still the best one for your needs, visit askchapter.org/careblazers or call Chapter at 504-490-0080 for free, personalized guidance to make sure you’re on the right plan this year. Chapter sponsored the video this post comes from.
*Chapter: Chapter and its affiliates are not connected with or endorsed by any government entity or the federal Medicare program. Chapter Advisory, LLC represents Medicare Advantage HMO, PPO, and PFFS organizations and stand alone prescription drug plans that have a Medicare contract. Enrollment depends on the plan’s contract renewal. While we have a database of every Medicare plan nationwide and can help you to search among all plans, we have contracts with many but not all plans. As a result, we do not offer every plan available in your area. Currently we represent 50 organizations which offer 18,160 products nationwide. We search and recommend all plans, even those we don’t directly offer. You can contact a licensed Chapter agent to find out the number of products available in your specific area. Please contact Medicare.gov, 1-800-Medicare, or your local State Health Insurance Program (SHIP) to get information on all of your options.
*Average potential savings are based on realized premium, co-pay, and out of pocket savings estimates self-reported by consumers that worked with Chapter Advisory LLC to enroll in a Medicare Supplement, Medicare Advantage, and/or Part D Prescription Drug Plan. The average is limited to consumers that chose to self-report. Savings information is subject to periodic updates and corrections. There is no guarantee of savings and any savings may vary by policy type, state, or other factors.
You Won’t Stop Every Scam
In full transparency, I want to be honest with you. We’re not going to be able to stop every scam attempt. Scammers are always inventing new tricks.
But by setting up these systems, you make it much harder for them to succeed. You protect your loved one from losing money, and yourself too, and you give yourself a little more peace of mind.
And sometimes they’re just going to win.
Careblazer, you’re doing amazing. This is hard stuff. Keep going.
Setting all of this up, on top of everything else you’re carrying, is a lot to figure out alone. Inside the Care Collective, Careblazers trade what’s actually working for them, like that mail service, in our weekly support rooms, alongside everything else that comes with caring for someone with dementia. You can learn more here.
