Understanding Anosognosia: More Than Denial
Have you ever felt that your loved one with dementia seems to be in denial? They insist on driving, managing finances, or living alone, despite the risks. This isn’t just stubbornness; it’s likely a condition known as anosognosia, a lack of awareness caused by dementia itself. Anosognosia means that no amount of arguing, correcting, or showing evidence will change their mind. Sounds familiar, right?
What Not to Do
It’s natural to want to correct your loved one when they insist they can do something unsafe. But as we’ve seen, arguing or trying to reason with evidence doesn’t just fail—it can backfire. It might lead to frustration, or worse, increase their confusion and distress. Imagine trying to prove to someone that their cabinets are unchanged, only to have them remain convinced of a nightly intruder. Frustrating, isn’t it?
A New Approach: What to Do Instead
So, what can you do if not argue or correct? This is where creative thinking shines. Let’s break down a real-life example that many caregivers face: convincing a loved one that they are indeed home.
Real-Life Scenario: “That’s Not My Home”
Picture this: after a day of errands, you and your loved one with dementia are sitting in the car outside your house. You say it’s time to go inside, and they insist, “That’s not my home.” You might be tempted to pull out documents or photos as proof. But stop and ask yourself, “Why do I need them to recognize this as their home?” The answer is simple: you need them to go inside.
Creative Solution
Instead of trying to convince them, why not approach it as just another errand? “Hey, we have one last errand to complete—let’s go inside.” This sidesteps the need for agreement on the facts and focuses on the desired action—getting them safely inside.
Applying This Method to Other Challenges
This principle can be applied to numerous situations. Whether it’s managing finances or ensuring physical safety, the key is not to convince them of the reality they can’t grasp but to creatively navigate around it.
Managing Finances
When it becomes clear your loved one can no longer manage their finances safely, don’t focus on proving their mistakes. Instead, think about the ultimate goal: keeping their finances safe. Could you set up automatic bill payments? Intercept their mail to manage bills before they see them? These solutions focus on the outcome rather than the process of convincing.
Why This Approach Works
Focusing on why you need a certain behavior rather than convincing them of their limitations allows you to find practical, immediate solutions that don’t rely on their full understanding, which their condition may not allow. This method reduces stress and conflict, enhancing both safety and the quality of your relationship.
The Power of Creative Problem Solving in Dementia Care
By reframing your approach from convincing to creatively solving, you open up a world of possibilities that can transform caregiving from a battle to a more manageable—and even rewarding—experience. This doesn’t just make the day-to-day easier; it fundamentally changes how you interact with your loved one, preserving dignity and reducing frustration on both sides.
Embrace the Challenge: It’s Worth It
Taking this path requires a shift in thinking—it’s about asking the right questions and allowing creative, compassionate responses to lead your actions. It’s not the easiest route, but it is far more effective in the long run.
Conclusion: A Daily Commitment to Creative Caregiving
Every day with dementia presents new challenges, but also new opportunities to apply creative solutions. It’s a process of learning and adapting—one that requires patience, empathy, and a bit of creativity. I encourage you to embrace this approach not just today, but as a fundamental part of your caregiving journey.
Remember, you’re not alone in this. Every step you take towards creative, compassionate care is a step towards a better life for both you and your loved one. Let’s continue this conversation and support each other in transforming the way we care for our loved ones with dementia.
What creative solutions have you found effective in your caregiving journey? Share your experiences in the comments below and let’s grow together in understanding and compassion.
Want to watch the in-depth video that inspired this post? Click the video below to watch. ↓
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2 Responses
First, thank you for your content. It is so very helpful! I love this topic as it is very relevant to my MILs Alzheimer’s situation. But I have a question…how do we handle her constant pleas to return home from Assisted Living? It is beyond redirection. She definitely has anosognosia therefore cannot grasp why we moved her into AL. She calls incessantly pleading her case to anyone who will listen and she fights with us every time we visit. She is stage 5 and very appropriate for this level of care. We feel at a loss during every visit even though we know this is best for her. Its positively brutal.
We had the same situation with my mother in law. It’s heartbreaking. You have to keep reminding her that she was not safe living alone any longer. And that here she’s taken care of and she’s not alone. Just keep reminding her she’s in a safe place. Even if she forgets what you just said. It’s your kind reassurance that will help her. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s the only viable one.