Are you juggling kids and aging parents? Welcome to the sandwich generation! If you’re caring for your children while also supporting aging parents, you’re part of a growing group known as sandwich caregivers. It’s a tough role that demands strength, patience, and a whole lot of juggling. But don’t worry—you’re not alone.
Between 2024 and 2030, 10,000 adults will turn 65 every day, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. If you’re in your 40s, there’s a 54% chance you’re already sandwiched between the needs of aging parents and raising your children. By the time you’re in your 50s, this number rises to 59% for those helping their parents financially. These numbers highlight how common this experience is—and why it’s critical to address the challenges head-on.
Recently, after speaking at the Dementia Friendly Tempe Annual Dementia Summit, I met Eileen, a young mom who’s also caring for her parent with dementia. She told me, “Most resources seem geared towards those caring for a spouse or partner. What can I do as a sandwich caregiver?” This post is for Eileen—and for anyone else navigating the complex world of sandwich caregiving.
What Is the Sandwich Generation?
The sandwich generation refers to individuals who are simultaneously caring for their children and their aging parents. It’s a double-duty role that can feel overwhelming but is often undertaken with love and dedication.
This group is growing daily as our population ages. With increased life expectancy and people starting families later in life, many adults find themselves in this position. While it’s rewarding to care for those you love, it can also feel like you’re being pulled in every direction.
Challenges of Sandwich Caregivers
1. Dual Responsibilities
Imagine juggling two full-time roles. That’s what sandwich caregivers face every day. You’re responsible for your kids’ needs—helping with homework, driving to extracurricular activities, and managing daily life—while also tending to your parents’ needs, such as medical appointments, meal preparation, or even full-time caregiving.
2. Financial Strain
Caregiving is expensive. Did you know sandwich caregivers are twice as likely to experience financial strain compared to non-caregivers? Childcare, eldercare, medical expenses, and household bills can quickly pile up, leaving you stressed about money.
3. Career Impact
Balancing caregiving and work is a significant challenge. Sandwich caregivers often:
Reduce work hours to manage caregiving responsibilities
Pass up promotions to avoid added workplace stress
Take unpaid leave or leave the workforce entirely
This can affect your career progression, financial stability, and future retirement plans. Many caregivers in our Care Collective program struggle with the decision to stay in their jobs or prioritize caregiving full-time.
4. Emotional Strain
Burnout, anxiety, and depression are common among sandwich caregivers. The emotional toll of constantly caring for others can leave you feeling drained, with little energy left for yourself.
5. Time Constraints
There are only so many hours in a day, and sandwich caregivers often sacrifice hobbies, friendships, and even sleep. This lack of personal time can lead to feelings of isolation and overwhelm.
Tips for Sandwich Caregivers
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry—there are practical strategies that can help.
1. Check Employer Assistance Programs
Many employers now recognize the challenges of caregiving and offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs). These programs may include:
Therapy (individual or group)
Financial stipends for caregiving expenses
Emotional support and counseling services
It’s worth checking with your HR department to see what resources are available.
2. Explore In-Home Support Services
Support doesn’t always have to mean hands-on care for your loved one. Consider:
Meal delivery services to save time and reduce stress.
Housekeeping services to keep your home clean and manageable.
These services can lighten your load and give you more time to focus on what matters most.
3. Use Respite Care
Respite care is a lifesaver for many caregivers. It can take two forms:
Formal care: Professional caregivers or facilities provide temporary support.
Informal care: Friends, family members, or community groups step in to help.
Even a few hours a week can make a significant difference in your mental health.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
This might feel awkward, but it’s essential. Reach out to your network of friends, family, or community members. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to pitch in.
If you’re part of our Care Collective program, revisit the “Help That Actually Helps” section for a step-by-step guide on asking for assistance.
5. Be Proactive
Planning ahead can save you time, money, and stress in the long run. Talk to:
Your loved one’s doctor
A social worker
An elder law attorney
They can help you create a plan for future care needs, both financially and legally.
3 Personal Tips for Sandwich Caregivers
Based on my experience working with thousands of caregivers, here are three tips that often get overlooked but can make a world of difference.
1. Keep Open Communication with Your Partner
Caregiving can strain relationships, but staying connected with your partner is crucial. Here’s how:
Schedule regular check-ins to discuss your feelings and needs.
Be open about how they can support you.
Listen actively to their concerns or observations.
Remember, you’re in this together. Don’t let caregiving challenges drive a wedge between you.
2. Talk to Your Kids About What’s Happening
Kids are perceptive—they notice when something’s up. Depending on their age, explain your situation in a way they can understand:
Why Grandma or Grandpa might act differently
Why you’re sometimes stressed or distracted
What they can do to help (if age-appropriate)
Open communication helps them feel included and reduces confusion or fear.
3. Stay Connected with Siblings
Family dynamics can be tricky, especially if one sibling takes on the majority of caregiving duties. Here’s what works for me:
Keep siblings updated about your parent’s condition.
Set boundaries around unsolicited advice.
Show appreciation for their emotional support.
In my case, caregiving has brought my siblings and me closer together. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth the effort.
My Personal Journey
While I’m not a sandwich caregiver—I don’t have children—I’ve experienced the challenges of caregiving for my parents. My siblings live out of state, so most of the responsibility falls on me.
There have been tough days, but I’ve learned the importance of open communication and staying emotionally connected. When my brother calls to say he appreciates me or asks how he can help, it lifts my spirits. Sometimes, all I need is to vent, and knowing they’re there to listen means the world.
Final Thoughts on Sandwich Caregiving
Being a sandwich caregiver isn’t easy, but you’re not alone. By planning ahead, asking for help, and staying connected with loved ones, you can find balance and thrive in this challenging role.
Are you part of the sandwich generation? I’d love to hear your story. Share your tips in the comments below—your advice could make a big difference for someone else.
Resources for Sandwich Caregivers
If you’re looking for personalized support, consider joining our Care Collective program. We offer:
A 24/7 library of caregiving resources
Support groups with other caregivers
Expert Q&A sessions to address your specific concerns
Click here or email us at [email protected] to learn more.
Want to watch the in-depth video that inspired this post?
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