Are you new to caring for someone with dementia and already feeling exhausted? You are not alone. Caregiving is one of the most meaningful, yet also one of the most demanding roles you can take on. The good news is that caregivers who have walked this road before you have shared their best advice, and their wisdom can make the journey a little lighter.
In this post, I’ll share some of the top dementia caregiving tips from real caregivers who have lived through the challenges you may be facing right now. These aren’t just theories — they are practical, compassionate, tried-and-true strategies. Whether you are struggling with burnout, dealing with combative behaviors, or simply wondering how to hold onto yourself while caring for someone else, you’ll find support here.
Step Into Their World, Don’t Argue
One of the hardest lessons for new caregivers is learning not to correct or argue when a loved one is confused. For example, one caregiver shared that her father would often ask about his parents, even though they had passed away years before. At first, she would tell him the truth, only to watch him grieve and cry as if hearing the news for the first time.
Eventually, she realized it was kinder to say something like, “They’re at work,” or, “They’re at the store,” and then gently redirect the conversation. This approach spared him repeated heartache and allowed her to connect with him in the moment.
Key takeaway: When it comes to dementia, accuracy matters far less than compassion. Step into their world, validate their feelings, and focus on keeping them calm and comforted.
Put Legal and Financial Plans in Place Early
Several caregivers stressed the importance of arranging a power of attorney early in the journey. There are two main types to consider:
Healthcare power of attorney (for medical decisions)
Financial power of attorney (for financial matters)
Having these documents in place does not mean they take effect immediately, but it ensures you will be able to step in smoothly when needed. As one caregiver shared, “I had both for my father. It gave me peace of mind knowing I was prepared when decisions had to be made.”
Key takeaway: Don’t wait for a crisis. Talk with an elder law attorney and get the paperwork done.
Say “Yes” When People Offer Help
One simple but powerful tip is to accept help when it’s offered. Too many caregivers wait until they are burned out before admitting they need support. This journey can last for years, even decades, and you cannot do it all alone.
When a friend asks, “What can I do to help?” be ready with an answer. Ask them to pick up groceries, sit with your loved one while you take a break, or drop off a meal. It does not have to be huge to make a difference.
Key takeaway: Say yes to help, even when you think you don’t “need it yet.”
Protect Your Own Hobbies and Interests
One caregiver wisely shared, “Ensure that you have a couple of interests that you do for yourself.” Whether it’s an exercise class, painting, gardening, or meeting a friend for lunch, keeping something that belongs to you is a lifeline.
Caregivers often get so consumed with caregiving that friendships fade, hobbies disappear, and life feels like it has narrowed down to only the illness. Later, when they desperately need support, they may feel isolated.
Key takeaway: Nurture your own interests and relationships. They are your lifeline.
The “Healthy People” Rule
Another gem from caregivers is to suspend the “healthy people” rules when needed. For example:
Showers don’t always have to be daily.
Mealtimes don’t have to be perfectly scheduled.
Clothes don’t always have to match.
Meals don’t need to be perfectly balanced.
Sometimes survival and peace of mind are more important than perfection. “Give yourself grace,” one caregiver shared. “Sometimes it’s enough just to get through the day.”
Key takeaway: Let go of the pressure to do everything “the right way.” Flexibility can lower stress for both you and your loved one.
Include Them in Conversations
Even when your loved one can no longer respond clearly, they still deserve to be treated with respect. Talk with them, not about them, and avoid speaking as though they are not in the room. Inclusion fosters dignity and connection.
Key takeaway: Treat your loved one as a participant, not a bystander.
Outsource What You Can
Caregiving often feels like it requires you to do everything, but you don’t have to. Outsourcing certain tasks can free your energy for the things that matter most. Examples include:
Grocery or prescription delivery services
Housekeeping or laundry help
Meal preparation
Even hands-on caregiving, if available
Sometimes paying for support, even just a little, is worth every penny for your sanity.
Key takeaway: Lighten your load by outsourcing where possible.
Learn About the Specific Dementia Diagnosis
Every type of dementia is different. Alzheimer’s disease, Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal dementia, and vascular dementia all have unique features. One caregiver put it plainly: “Do your own research. Caregivers often know more than doctors.” Sadly, many healthcare providers have little dementia-specific training.
Key takeaway: Educate yourself. The more you know, the better you can advocate for your loved one.
Find a Support Group
Friends and family may try to help but often say the wrong things out of inexperience. Caregivers emphasized how valuable it is to join a support group — either in person or online — where others truly understand what you are going through.
Key takeaway: Build a community of people who get it.
Separate the Person From the Disease
When your loved one lashes out or says hurtful things, it’s easy to take it personally. But their brain is changing, and many behaviors are symptoms of the disease, not reflections of who they are or how they feel about you.
One caregiver wrote, “Don’t beat yourself up when you lose your patience. It’s going to happen. Just remember — it’s the disease, not the person.”
Key takeaway: Create a mental buffer. Their words and behaviors are driven by brain changes, not intention.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Many caregivers mentioned the importance of letting yourself cry, feel frustration, and admit that this is hard. Emotions are normal, and pretending otherwise only adds pressure.
Key takeaway: Allow yourself to feel. Your emotions are valid.
Find Joy Where You Can
Not every moment will be difficult. One caregiver shared that while the beginning of her mother’s dementia journey was overwhelming, the final months were filled with beauty and precious memories. “As hard as it was, it became incredibly beautiful caring for her at home,” she said.
Key takeaway: Dementia caregiving is full of ups and downs. Allow yourself to notice the beautiful moments when they come.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dementia Caregiving
1. How do I prevent burnout as a dementia caregiver?
Accept help, take breaks, and nurture your own hobbies. Burnout is real, but small steps to care for yourself make a difference.
2. What should I do when my loved one is combative or says hurtful things?
Stay calm, step away if needed, and remind yourself it is the disease, not them. Avoid arguing.
3. How do I prepare legally and financially for caregiving?
Talk with an elder law attorney early. Arrange both healthcare and financial power of attorney.
4. Should I join a caregiver support group?
Yes. Support groups provide understanding and connection that friends and family may not be able to offer.
5. How do I balance caregiving with my own life?
Protect time for your hobbies, outsource tasks, and say yes to help. You are allowed to have a life outside caregiving.
Final Thoughts
Caring for someone with dementia is one of the hardest roles you will ever take on, but you don’t have to do it alone. The wisdom from caregivers who have already walked this road is clear: accept help, take care of yourself, and remember it’s the disease, not the person.
There will be tough days, but there can also be moments of beauty and connection. Give yourself grace along the way.
If you want ongoing support, strategies, and encouragement, I invite you to join my free Dementia Dose newsletter. Every Thursday, I send out tips and resources that have helped thousands of caregivers feel less overwhelmed and more supported.
Join The Dementia Dose Newsletter Here
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