Careblazer,

I recently met someone new. When she found out what I do for work, she responded the way many people do by sharing about someone in her family who had dementia.

“My grandfather had dementia due to Parkinson’s disease,” she said.

Then she added, “Of course, we cared for him at home.”

Those two words, of course, stayed with me.

Not because she meant any harm by them.
But because they reflect something many caregivers quietly feel or hear along the way. The idea that there is a “right” way to do this.

That caring for a loved one with dementia at home is the best-case scenario.
And that any other choice is somehow less than.

The problem is that this way of thinking does not take into account the needs of the person with dementia, the health of the caregiver, or the amount of support a family has.

I’ve worked with families where the best option was to care for their loved one at home, and that is what they were able to do.
I have also worked with families where the best option was for their loved one to receive care in a facility.

To believe there is one “best way” to care for a person with dementia ignores the many other factors and realities that exist.

When people make different caregiving decisions than you, it is not because their decision is worse or better. It is just different. Because we don’t really know what is happening inside the four walls of their home.

Chances are, it is much different than yours.

Here is to a world with more support for one another and less judgment toward one another.