General dementia tips are training wheels- not handcuffs.
We can break them.
In fact, we SHOULD break them in some cases!
Let’s take the common rule that we shouldn’t correct someone with dementia.
That’s great general advice. But we shouldn’t follow it all the time.
Here are 2 exceptions to that rule.
First Exception:
If the thing they are doing is extremely dangerous, then we should correct in the moment.
For example, let’s say your loved one is helping with cooking and they are about to pull out a hot pan from the oven without any oven mitts on – you’d want to stop them immediately. You wouldn’t want them to burn their hands.
Ideally, you wouldn’t stop them by telling them they are doing it wrong.
Rather, you could stop them by quickly calling their name or saying “stop” and then casually saying, “Here I forgot to give you these. Put them on first.” Then hand them the oven mitts.
The point is, we should “correct” when the behavior poses a serious immediate safety risk.
Second Exception:
If whatever they are doing is causing them to be super upset or in distress.
For example, let’s say your loved one is putting together a puzzle and you can see that they have several pieces the wrong way making it so the full puzzle will never be able to be put together correctly.
If your loved one isn’t bothered by this, let them keep putting the puzzle together incorrectly!
There is no need to correct as they seem fine and there is no safety risk.
BUT, if they are getting upset that the puzzle pieces aren’t coming together, then that’s a cue for you to jump in and help.
Similar to the last example, you don’t have to point out they are doing something wrong. You can simply say something like, “That puzzle gave me trouble too, here let’s try this” – and then you can help them with a few pieces
Notice how you aren’t making them feel bad for doing something wrong but you are keeping them safe.
Bottom Line:
Most tips are true in general but can be wrong in your specific case.
It’s important we don’t hang on too tightly the “rules” we’ve heard that we stop listening to the actual situation we are facing.
I did a video in the past on 3 things you should never do with someone who has dementia. Click HERE to watch it now. Just remember, there are exceptions to every rule.
A recent study our of Harvard University shows that olive oil may reduce our risk of dementia by 28%!
This is a video worth watching and considering if you are wanting to do anything possible to reduce your own risk. Click the picture below to watch the video now ⤵️
Everything we report on is based on evidence. And since drinking olive oil might seem a big strange, I’m also giving you access to the Harvard study. Read the full Harvard study here.
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Sending love,
Board-certified Geropsychologist
Founder, Dementia Careblazers
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