If you have ever looked into the eyes of your loved one and heard them say something like, “You are not my wife,” or, “Someone is stealing from me,” you know how shocking and heartbreaking dementia symptoms can be. These moments can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and unsure how to respond.
As a board-certified geropsychologist and founder of Dementia Careblazers, I have worked with thousands of caregivers facing these exact situations. The good news is that these strange and surprising symptoms often make more sense once you understand what is happening in the brain.
In this post, I will walk you through five of the most surprising dementia symptoms and share practical, science-backed strategies that can help you respond with confidence and compassion.
Understanding Why Strange Dementia Symptoms Happen
Before we look at the specific symptoms, it helps to remember that all dementia behaviors, no matter how unusual they seem, are caused by changes in the brain. Different regions control memory, recognition, movement, reasoning, and emotion. When dementia damages these areas, the person’s perceptions and abilities change.
These symptoms are not intentional. They are not a reflection of your loved one’s feelings for you. They are a result of a brain that is working differently than it once did.
1. Capgras Syndrome: “You’re Not My Wife… You’re a Robot”
Capgras syndrome is a rare but distressing symptom where a person believes a loved one has been replaced by an imposter, robot, or stranger. For example, one caregiver shared that her husband would look her in the eyes and tell her to leave because she was “a robot,” not his wife.
This happens when there is damage to two key brain areas:
- The fusiform gyrus, which helps with facial recognition.
- The amygdala, which connects recognition with emotional familiarity.
When these connections are disrupted, the person may recognize your face but not feel the emotional bond that confirms you are “you.”
Caregiver Tips for Capgras Syndrome:
- Sometimes your loved one may connect more with your voice than your face. Try speaking before you enter the room: “Hi honey, it’s me. I’m coming into the kitchen.”
- You could also call them on the phone before walking into view.
- If the moment is tense, it is okay to step away and return later.
Remember: this is about their brain’s perception, not about you personally.
2. Prosopagnosia: Face Blindness
Prosopagnosia is different from Capgras syndrome. It is often called “face blindness” because the person cannot recognize familiar faces, including yours. Many caregivers mistake this for memory loss, but it is actually a recognition problem caused by damage to the fusiform gyrus.
In prosopagnosia, your loved one may feel like they are looking at a stranger even though you are their spouse, child, or friend. The good news is that they often still recognize your voice.
Caregiver Tips for Prosopagnosia:
- Greet your loved one right away: “Hi Dad, it’s me, John” or “Hi honey, it’s Alice, your wife.”
- Keep talking while approaching so your voice triggers familiarity.
- Continue the conversation naturally to help them feel at ease.
3. Apraxia: “How Do I Put This Jacket On?”
Apraxia is the inability to carry out purposeful movements even though the muscles work. Your loved one may stare at a jacket, unsure how to put it on, as if they are seeing it for the first time.
This occurs when dementia disrupts the communication between:
- The parietal lobe, which understands where the body is in space.
- The frontal lobe, which plans the steps needed for movement.
Caregiver Tips for Apraxia:
- Break the activity into simple steps: “Let’s start with your right arm.”
- Simplify clothing by replacing shoelaces with Velcro and zippers or buttons with elastic waistbands.
- Be patient. Frustration can make the task harder for your loved one.
4. Shadowing: Following You Everywhere
Shadowing is when your loved one follows you constantly, sometimes even into the bathroom. While it can feel overwhelming, this behavior is usually rooted in fear and disorientation.
The hippocampus, which helps with memory and navigation, may be damaged. This leaves your loved one feeling unsafe, so they cling to the person they trust most, you.
Caregiver Tips for Shadowing:
- Provide safe activities near you, such as folding towels, looking at photo albums, or sorting items.
- Reassure them when you step away: “I’m making some tea. I’ll be right back.”
- Arrange regular respite time for yourself through in-home help, adult day programs, or support from friends and family.
5. Delusions: False Beliefs That Feel Real
Delusions are false beliefs that cause distress, such as “Someone is stealing my money” or “My daughter is lying to me.” Even if you try to reason with your loved one, the belief may not change.
This happens when the prefrontal cortex, which helps with reality checks, is not working well. At the same time, the limbic system, which controls emotion, can become overactive, especially with fear. The brain fills in the blanks with its own explanation.
Caregiver Tips for Delusions:
- Avoid arguing or defending yourself it often makes the belief stronger.
- Acknowledge their feelings: “That sounds scary. I’m here with you.”
- Gently redirect their attention to something enjoyable, such as a favorite snack, activity, or music.
Frequently Asked Questions About Strange Dementia Symptoms
1. Are these strange dementia symptoms common?
Yes. Up to 90 percent of people living with dementia will experience behavioral and psychological symptoms at some point. While not every person will have all five symptoms listed here, it is common for at least one or two to appear during the illness.
2. Do these symptoms mean my loved one’s dementia is getting worse?
Not necessarily. Symptoms like delusions, shadowing, or apraxia can appear at different stages depending on which parts of the brain are affected. They may also come and go. The presence of a symptom does not always mean a rapid decline.
3. Can medication help with these symptoms?
In some cases, medication may be used, especially if the symptom causes distress or risk of harm. However, non-medication strategies are often the first approach. This is because behavioral symptoms can sometimes be reduced through environmental changes, reassurance, and caregiver communication techniques.
4. How should I respond if my loved one accuses me of something that isn’t true?
Avoid arguing or trying to prove them wrong. Acknowledge their feelings and redirect their attention toward a calming activity or topic. Your calm response can reduce the intensity and duration of the moment.
5. Will these symptoms go away?
Some may fade or become less frequent, but others might return or shift into different behaviors. Because dementia changes over time, it is best to focus on responding in ways that keep your loved one safe and reduce distress in the moment.
6. How can I prepare for these kinds of symptoms?
Learn what each symptom might look like, plan your response strategies in advance, and build a support network. The more prepared you feel, the easier it will be to stay calm and confident when these moments arise.
Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Loved One
Up to 90 percent of people with dementia will experience behavioral and psychological symptoms at some point. That means you are not alone if you are facing these challenges.
Just as important as learning strategies for your loved one is finding support for yourself. Regular breaks, emotional support, and ongoing education can help you stay resilient in your caregiving role.
It’s completely free, and every Thursday I share tools and insights that have helped thousands of caregivers feel less overwhelmed and more equipped.
You can sign up here.
Watch On YouTube
Want to watch the in-depth video that inspired this post?
Click the video below to watch. ↓
